Jobless in Chembur

If people can be sleepless in Seattle, I can most certainly be jobless in Chembur. For most Bombay people, Chembur is not even a part of Bombay. So as far as they are concerned I am living in a far off land, too distant in the local train map and hence too hard to locate on the mental atlas. But I argue and insist that it isn’t after all that far from a lot of things. Those ‘things’ I can mostly not recall in the middle of any debate. Damn my memory!

So I feel discriminated against whenever I mention my address and people make this strange exasperated expression. Chembur? But why? Then you can’t go anywhere! It’s like they are already excluding me from any possibility of a social life in this new city. You! Chembur liver! Thou canst be a part of normal Bombay life. Thou shall be condemned forever to sit in your flat and write depressing blogs about your depressing reclusive life. Well, one day when I finish my “Diary of a recluse” then these very people will have to eat their own words. Then my Nobel Prize and I will sit alone Chembur and live happily ever after.

And I’m not kidding about the book so don’t laugh it off. Since it doesn’t look like I’m likely to find a job any time soon, I will have to write a book to occupy all this time I have. A book in first person, where I will be the cool protagonist-narrator and every event will follow the path of my caprice. I wonder how many writers live an alternate life through their books. But it would certainly be fun to make people I know, characters in my personal text. My word is your command. Hmmm, maybe this solitary life isn’t such a bad idea after all. I always wanted to give my favourite people lots of good luck and well, the not so favourite ones, bad haircuts!

Beware geographical discriminators, here I come !